Akane's Magical Mishap
by sara t. fontanini
Summary: Shampoo is working on a new potion to win Ranma's heart. As Ranma, Akane and several others near, chaos waves its hand, and things go a bit....pear-shaped. Be prepared for a surprise...
1. Turnabout is Fair Play

Akane's Magical Mishap!

by Sara T. Fontanini

Part 1: Turnabout is Fair Play

Shampoo had been working on this all day. Soon, Ranma would realise that SHE was the only one for him. Sure, he might need some help to understand that, but this potion would reveal his true inner desires.

Yes, Shampoo is making another potion to ensnare Ranma's heart. Yes, it will ultimately fail.

But not in the expected way.

--------------------

Ukyo was ready. She was sure Shampoo was up to something today, and she'd be damned if she allowed the bimbo to get her way.

She readied her spatula, and moved out.

---------------------

Akane and Ranma were walking towards the Nekohanten. Why? Because Ranma was hungry, and he has yet to learn why he must never ever ever go there.

Akane was fuming, thinking that he was going to do something perverted.

--------------------

Kodachi had spotted Ranma-sama. She would follow him, and ensure that she would find some way to pry him from the grasp of these.....commoners.

--------------------

It has often been said that the gods have it in for Ranma Saotome, and mess with his life for jollies. But that's not true.

Only one god messes with his life, and even the constant torture of a single individual, even one such as Ranma, can get boring. So, you gotta mix things up.

That's why Akuma Akatsuki, the patron deity of chaos, was grinning widely as something very interesting was about to happen.

And he loved irony above all else.

---------------------

Ranma entered the Nekohanten, with Akane following closely behind him. Shampoo rushed to greet her airen.

However, in her eagerness, she forgot that she was still carrying the couldron that held the potion.

Akane pointed at the object. "And what is THAT?"

"I'd like to know that too, sugar."

"Only I may persuade Ranma's favour in such a manner."

Shampoo and Akane turned to look at Kodachi and Ukyo, who had somehow gotten inside without making a hole or causing damage to the building in any way. An unusual feat, to say the least.

Ranma thought it best to just get away, before the usual result occured. So, ever so slowly, he edged away.

He got to the door when the the chef and the gymnast jumped at the amazon.

What followed was pretty standard, really. Shampoo got out her bonbori (Don't ask me from where or how, cause not even I know), Ukyo readied her spatula, and Kodachi pulled out a ribbon (again, don't know where that came from). And then they began to fight.

Akane just stood and stared. She rarely got in the middle of these sorts of fights. In fact, usually SHE was the target. She wasn't sure whether she should join in (which meant admitting she likes Ranma, which she doesn't, of course) or to stand around and watch (which meant looking like an idiot and useless to boot). So.....she just stood and stared.

Nobody noticed the couldron full of love potion fly into the air, kept aloft by the combined aura of three very angry women (Akane's too confused to be angry right now), be pushed along the fight.

Before the fight could be resolved in some way or form, the potion fell to the ground. The loud noise of the metal clanging on the floor got the attention of all four young women. You could SEE the potion's fumes waft up and into the faces of Kodachi, Ukyo and Shampoo. They fell to the ground, stunned by both shock and potion side-affects.

And they were all staring at a certain tomboy.

I think we can understand what's about to take place.

---------------------------

Ranma was just about to get away from the Nekohanten entirely when he realised one very crucial factor.

He forgot to make sure that Akane was okay. After all, she hardly ever got involved with those three in a fight.

He hit his head in frustration and ran back into the restaurant. And got the most shocking, and yet most satisfyingly hilarious sight he had had in years.

Before we begin to describe said sight, let me first explain the usual situation using the following formula:

Love Potion + Ranma + Shampoo = Bad News for Ranma

However:

Love Potion + Akane + Shampoo % Ukyo % Kodachi = Something a bit different

And this is the sight that presented itself to Ranma at the moment:

A shocked looking Akane frozen like a statue as three incredibly beautiful (in Kodachi's case, it's a little arguable) women draped themselves all over said shocked girl.

It was a sight that solicited ONE response, and one response only. Especially from Ranma.

He laughed.

No, that's not right. He guffawed, he wheezed, he chuckled, and even giggled. It was THAT funny to him.

After all, Akane kept on getting mad at him for always accepting the various women out to marry him or some such,as if he enjoyed it.

And now, she had no choice but to see things from his perspective, more or less.

Akane would've hit him if A) she could move and B) she wasn't already scared of the three lovestruck, incredibly aroused young women (when they're THAT close to ya, you can tell) doing something unspeakable.

Shampoo lifted her head from Akane's right shoulder, and moved her face closer to Akane's.

"Wo ai ni." The amazon said, simply.

And then she kissed the tomboy square on the lips.

Ranma just laughed harder at this.

-----------------------

Meanwhile, in an area outside time and space, another person laughed heartily at these goings on. Oh yes, Akatsuki was going to enjoy himself immensely.

--------------------------

_And there you have it. My first foray into proper humour._

_I got the idea very simply, by asking myself this question, or at least something like it:_

_What would happen if all the fancees and wannabe fiancees suddenly fell for Akane?_

_And, knowing Shampoo's propensity for potions (especially love potions), I was able to create such a situation._

_Akatsuki may or may not enter into the plot on more than an observationary standpoint. It depends on what you guys decide. Just let me know._

_Hope ya liked it, and please comment!_


	2. Chaotic Love

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 2: Chaotic Love

Akane had gotten ready for school, the events of the previous day already forgotten.

This won't last.

She and Ranma were walking their usual path to school when....

"Nihao, Airen!"

The two turned to see Shampoo riding her bicycle down the street, smiling cheerfully. She was carrying a delivery box.

"What do you want, Shampoo?" Akane asked the Amazon, temper rising. She didn't like how publicly the lavender-haired girl displayed her affections towards Ranma. That, and the fact that Ranma didn't seem to mind.

"Shampoo make delivery for Airen. Airen no happy?"

Akane glared. "Why don't we ask him?"

Shampoo gave her a weird look. "Airen no remember?"

Ranma grinned. "Yeah, I think she doesn't. Why don't you remind her?"

"Hai!"

And with that, Shampoo glomped onto her Airen. Akane was shocked to find the Amazon draped over her, enveloping her in a tight embrace.

"Wha!?" She exclaimed, blushing and looking around wildly for help. "Wha!?"

Ranma smirked. "What? You're not happy to see your fiancee?"

Akane stared at him. "Wha!?"

She looked down, and saw Shampoo looking stricken, tears in her eyes. "Is true? Airen no like Shampoo?"

Akane's mouth finally started to work. "What do you mean? What about Ranma?" She tried to point at the boy, but her arms were pinned down. No wonder Ranma never got her off him, he couldn't move his body with this Amazon weighing him down.

Shampoo looked at her 'Airen'. "Ranma no like Akane, so Akane free for date Shampoo!" She exclaimed, smiling widely.

Akane turned to Ranma, pleading in her eyes.

Ranma sighed. He had enough fun for now. "Shampoo, me an' Akane have to go to school. Maybe you can date her some other time?"

Shampoo nodded. "OK! Shampoo see Airen later! Shampoo leave ramen with Airen!"

The Amazon leapt away from the still stunned girl and onto her bicycle. She then rode away from the two teenagers.

Akane could just stare. "What's going on?"

Ranma smirked. "You haven't seen anything yet." He said ominously.

Akane looked at him, hoping that this was all some elaborate nightmare.

-----------------------------

Akane found herself in another predicament. But this was only apparent around lunch.

She opened the delivery box, which, against all possibility, was still hot. It smelt wonderful.

Akane's mouth watered. Contrary to popular opinion, she actually had a stomach that rivaled a Saotome. Constant chastising from her elder sister, Kasumi, had simply made it so that she was not so....obvious about it.

But before her was a Ranma-style ramen made at the Nekohanten. Made solely for her. And it was hers for free.

She was staring at the meal in awe, her stomach threatening to return her to her old ways, when suddenly....

Ukyo appeared next to her, her portable grill ready. She was already at work preparing a special okonomiyaki for her 'love'.

"Oh, you don't need to bother with that stuff, sugar." The chef said, discreetly glaring at the noodle dish. "Not when your cute fiancee is around."

Akane stared at her. First Shampoo, now Ukyo? What next, Kodachi?

And, as if being summoned from the very pits that spawned her, Kodachi appeared. However, she was a lot more subdued. She wasn't laughing madly, waving a ribbon in the air. Nor was she in her leotard. There weren't even any rose petals.

She was dressed in her normal uniform, blushing. She had landed on the chef's head. She jumped down so that she was between the two girls.

"A-Akane-sama." She said, shyly. "I.....that is... would you..."

She couldn't finish as she was knocked on the head by a giant spatula.

"Stay away from her!"

Kodachi turned to the chef, her ribbon at the ready. "Stay out of this, commoner!"

Shampoo then jumped into the fray, having been following Akane and Ranma since their last meeting. Then the brouhaha began.

Akane decided to escape. But not before taking a bowl of ramen and the okonomiyaki that Ukyo had somehow finished before the fight began.

-------------------

Elsewhere, Akatsuki Akuma was watching with interest. He had been right. This was better than anything that happened before.

Well, maybe not better than Herb, but still in his top 10.

-------------------

Ranma and Akane had managed to escape to a park. School would most likely be near demolished by now, so they decided to just have the rest of the day off. Besides, it wasn't the first time they had cut class.

Akane glared at her fiance. "Ok, what's going on?"

Ranma smiled amusedly. "Ok, I'll tell ya."

Akane sat down, prepared to face what he was about to say.

"They're in love with ya."

Akane's eye twitched. "I got that much, but why!?"

Ranma sighed. "Well, you remember what happened yesterday?"

Akane was about say that no she didn't, but suddenly.....

She nodded. For some reason, she just remembered yesterday's events with perfect clarity.

"Well, Shampoo had been workin' on another potion. That's what that couldron was, as far as I can understand it. When the others came, I left, so I didn't see what happened after."

"Why'd you run away?" Akane asked the boy.

He gave her a look.

"Oh, right." She said, after a few seconds.

"Anyway," Ranma continued, "I assume there was another fight. I'm betting that while you were all distracted, the potion fell and rather than affect you or me, it affected them. And they fell in love with the first person they saw."

Akane nodded, finally understanding. Then she gasped.

"Wait, if they're in love with me, then they'll chase after me!"

The pig-tailed boy nodded. "Yep."

"And what about you?"

He shrugged. "I don't really show any interest in ya, so they ignore me. They actually see me as a friend."

"A friend?"

"Yep. To tell you the truth, I'm actually glad. Now they will finally leave me alone, at least until the potion either wears off or someone cures it."

"I thought you would've been unhappy that your harem was gone."

Ranma stared at her in shock. "What!? I hated them always chasin' me! Especially Kodachi." He shuddered. "That first night when she fell in love me, she hit me with some paralysis poison and tried to violate me!"

"THAT'S what happened!?" Akane exclaimed. All this time, he thought that he had been accepting the attention.

"Yep. But the potion seems to have gotten to her."

"What do you mean."

"Wel, you saw how she was actin'. My theory is that she was shocked out of her normal behaviour, why I don't know."

"What? She was shocked into sanity?" Akane asked, chuckling a bit. It sounded REALLY dumb.

"Hey, I'm just sayin' what I think is most likely. The other two, they're the same as ever." He gave her a warning look. "Be careful."

Akane nodded, with a slight smile. "Oh, I will. I'll be more careful than you anyway."

The boy winced, but smiled. It seemed things were going his way. Now Akane was listening to him, rather than to something he didn't say. Maybe she would begin to see how he actually felt about things.

A man can dream.

----------------------

Akatsuki frowned. This was NOT acceptable. A happy Ranma meant a bored Akatsuki. Even if someone else was miserable.

This looked like it was time for some CLOSE observation.

------------------

_Well, I'm done for now. I know I said I'd let you decide whether not Akatsuki would take a more overt role in the story, but I couldn't resist. I love giving a story a villain, no matter what._

_Hope ya enjoyed it! And please review!_


	3. Chaos Comes to Town

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 3: Chaos Comes to Town

Akuma Akatsuki (AKA Giovanni Ghetz, Machiavillain) was walking down the street, enjoying the sunshine. It was still really early.

The birds were singing, couples huddled together for warmth, and somewhere out there a bunch of girls in skimpy outfits fought evil monsters from another dimension.

Akatsuki smiled his ever present grin. It was another beautiful day.

He was going to enjoy wrecking it.

------------

Later that day, the local news station reproted several traffic accidents, computer malfunctions in the stock exchange and local stores, holes suddenly appeaing in the ground beneath people and one curious incident involving a woman suddenly losing all her clothing in a crowded subway train.

Oh, and a young boy complained about his soda suddenly feezing into hard ice, but his mother ignored him.

-----------

Elsewhere, a certain cursed boy and his fiancee were unaware of the great danger that approached them. Ranma was currently in his female form.

"So, who do ya like best?" Ranma asked nonchalantly.

"What do you mean?" Akane asked her sometimes-friend suspiciously.

"I mean, which of the three do you like the most: Ukyo, Kodachi or Shampoo?"

Akane blushed, huffing in anger. "I don't see how it's any of your business."

Ranma placed her hands behind her head. "I'm just sayin', seein' as you're my fiancee and all, I should at least know about the girls that you're interested in." She grinned. "After all, I need to give 'em my blessing, ya know."

She dodged Akane's punch.

"Relax, I'm joking." Ranma reassured the tomboy.

"I know, but I don't have to like it. Just because they're not bothering you doesn't mean you should tease me." Akane huffed.

Ranma smirked conspiratorially. "Or maybe you like me, and are too afraid to tell the others?"

"AS IF!"

Akane walked off huffily. Ranma shrugged, laughing.

God, she was going to milk this dry.

------------

Akatsuki sat in a cafe, drinking a nice cup of coffee (A mixture of every flavour they had). He clicked his fingers, and a man who was readjusting the sign suddenly found himself falling to the ground as his ladder mysteriously disappeared. Luckily, landed into the heaving bosom of a very well-endowed young woman.

Akatsuki chuckled as the man ran away from the irate woman, who wouldn't listen to reason. God, he loved this town. Everyone around was just so, so easy to manipulate.

PLus, it helped when you ahd a cult worshipping you in the area, making sacrifices and making the patron deity of the city. Why else do you think so many crazy stuff happens in Nerima?

Akatsuki sipped his coffee, clicking his fingers again.

-----------

Akane was walking down the street, blushing still.

How dare he suggest such a thing? She wasn't a pervert like HIM. There's no way she could be interested in HIM.

Was there?

She stopped, recognizing someone.

It was Kodachi, dressed in her school uniform.

The tomboy quickly turned awa, ready to bolt, until she heard the formerly-inasane girl's nervous voice.

"Akane-sama.....would you.... That is I..... I'd like it if.... if...."

"WHAT!?" Akane snapped. "JUST SAY IT ALREADY, YA CRAZY JERK!"

Kodachi winced, and Akane lowered her temper. Kodachi wasn't the same as before, and probably as confused as the tomboy was.

"I know it's asking a lot, what with you being with Ranma-san and all, but I would like it if you would.... If you would..." She closed her eyes, fearfully. "....go on a date with me?"

Akane was about to object quite vocally, but she noticed Kodachi's fearful expression, and nervous shaking. And that's when she realised something really, really strange.

She was....cute. It was hard to see when the gymnast was acting like a complete psycho, but looking at her now....she was cute.

Akane gulped, scratching her head nervously. "Well, I guess I could. I mean, it's not like you did anything bad lately, so I could go with you, if I'm allowed."

Kodachi beamed. "Oh, thank you, Akane-sama! I'll go tell Ranma-san right away!"

The former-madwoman ran off, squeeling like a schoolgirl. Which, of course, she was.

Akane paled. 'What have I just done!?'

Akane foamed at the mouth, and fainted.

------------

When she awoke, she was being carried by the still-female Ranma.

"Huh?" Akane asked intelligently.

"Kodachi came by and told me the good news." Ranma said. "I wen down to see how you were coping. Glad I did, or you could've been robbed or somethin'"

"Please don't make me go!" Akane pleaded. "I didn't mean it!"

Ranma smirked. "No way. You've put me through hell because of the whole 'fiancee thing'. Consider this payback."

Akane groaned in defeat. She knew she couldn't argue with Ranma, she HAD been a total bitch when it came to that issue, but wasn't entirely too happy with it.

"I thought friends were supposed to help each other?" Akane asked glumly.

"Not all the time, Akane-chan. Besides, I think you may actually enjoy yourself, if ya give yourself half the chance." Ranma grinned. "And don't worry, I'll chaperone, so that nothing too perverted happens. Unless you want it too."

She laughed as Akane violently denied such a desire.

-----------

Akatsuki had found a nice, quiet hotel. And it suspiciously suddenly become bankrupt, allowing Akatsuki to buy it off for his own purposes, and at a very cheap price too. Lucky him, eh?

Now he could get to work on making Ranma's, and Akane's, lives hell.

He was going to have so much FUN.

---------

_And, by popular demand, the next chapter!_

_I was a little surprised to tell the truth. I didn't think I'd get a fan base for this story._

_Hmm, this chapter isn't as funny as the first too, in my opinion. Oh well! Can't be helped!_

_And Ranma's just teasing the HELL out of Akane here. Of course, it's quite understandable_

_And of course, the ost notable thing about this chapter is that Akatsuki has come, bringing chaos where he goes._

_And so, a note on the character Akatsuki: there are several OC's that I make that I ten to like so much that I reuse whenever possible. Akastuki Akuma is one of those characters. He is a god of chaos, invariably, and enjoys nothing more than creating chaos. He is motivated not by hate, or idealology, or greed, or whatever: he is motvated simply by boredom. He believes, with all honesty, that's actually doing GOOD by making the world a more interesting, more lively place._

_He also doesn't much care about what happens to people in the course of his fun._

_Next chapter, the big date. This going to be FUN. :D_

_Hope ya enjoyed it, and please comment! _


	4. Dating Miss Kodachi

Akane's magical Mishap

Part 4: Dating Miss Kodachi

That night, Akane decided to take a bath. She sighed in relaxation as she sunk into the steaming waters of the furo.

It had been a rather messy couple of days. First, Shampoo tried to steal Ranma's heart by using another magical potion, and started fighting Ukyo and Kodachi.

Then, the potion hit the three of them, causing them to fall in love with Akane, and they mostly treated her the way they treated Ranma. She could now sympathise with the sometimes-boy, he probably didn't enjoy the constant attention and attempts made by the three girls to steal his heart.

Another sde-effect of the potion was that it had turned Kodachi....sane. She acted extremly shy and nervous around Akane, probably confused about the situation. She ahd asked Akane on a date.

And, Akane recalled with growing unease, the tomboy had accepted. She was going on the date after school, with Ranma chaperoning.

Akane sighed, sinking deeper into the water. Her life was getting to be so....chaotic lately. It just wasn't fair.

It was also having a major strain on her sense of self, even maybe her sanity.

She had thought Kodachi as being....cute. Not just in a passive way most girls noticed cuteness in other girls, or in an envious way, but in way that was.....perverted.

And THAT's the true horror of the situation, as far as Akane was concerned.

She was turning into a PERVERT.

She noticed a cat jumping into the furo. It was rather cute, with purplish white fur.

Wait. Cat? Purplish-white fur?

Suddenly, the cat fell into the water, and in its place arose Shampoo, in all her amazonian glory.

"Wo ai ni."

She glomped onto Akane, who was blushing furiously.

"Shampoo...." Akane said, embarrassed.. "This isn't....You're a little too.... Please get off me..."

And then, Ranma opened the door. He grinned.

The scen was almost exactly what it had looked like when Shampoo had first came by to stay in Nerima with her great-grandmother.

"Akane, I didn't think you and Shampoo were THAT close." Ranma commented, in mock condencension. "I'll leave ya two lovebirds alone."

He turned, closing the door behind him.

"WAIT!" Akane cried, reaching for the door. "Please save me! It's not what it looks like!"

Shampoo continued to glomp on the tomboy.

------------------

Akatsuki laughed, watching the theatrics.

But, as funny as it was, it was always WAY more entertaining when it happened to Ranma. He was going to have to fnd some way to do something about it....

------------------

The next day, Akane and Ranma were walking home from school. They ran into Kodachi, who was waiting for them.

"Akane-sama." The gymnast said in awe and happiness. "I had thought you had forgotten, and would leave me by the wayside." She tilted her head down, her eyes downcast. "I wouldn't be surprised. Here you are, the most beautiful woman in Nerima, and you have four other people that have your attention, who you obviously like more. And look at me, a psychotic mental case who suffered from delusions, and who even seriously hurt innocent people." SHe started crying. "Why would you want someone like me, who can't make anything beautiful?"

Ranma placed his hands on the girl's shoulders. "Hey, it's alright, Koda-chan. You're much better now, and Akane's here for ya." He smiled. "Besides, she likes ya so much more than anyone else."

Kodachi looked up, hope in her eyes. "Really? She really likes me?"

Ranma nodded, grining. "Would I lie to ya?"

Kodachi smiled, and ran to Akane, grasping the tomboy's hand. She looked away, shyly.

Akane blushed. "So...uh, what're we doing?" She couldn't think of anything better to say.

"Well, I was thinking....maybe a movie....and something to eat.." Kodachi was blushing, stammering in her speech."Y-you know, like.....like a....like a normal....couple...does?"

Akane was pale, her eyes wide in horror. She was going on a date, a normal, no-strings-attached date, with Kodachi....of her own free will.

She was at a total loss in this situation.

Ranma sighed. "Koda-chan, you'll have ta forgive Akane. She hasn't dated anyone before, let alone a girl. She's not dealin' with things at all."

Kodachi nodded, understanding. "That's....that's why you're here, isn't it, Ranma-san?"

The boy nodded. "Yep! I'm here ta make sure you and Akane have a good time!" He pointed to the cinema, which was close by. "Let's go then!"

Kodachi nodded enthusiastically. "Right!"

They walked over to the first half of the date. (Well, Akane was dragged, still frozen by shock and horror.)

---------------

Akatsuki had arrived at the movie theater, and patiently watched the film, waiting for his prey.

He was going to have fun with them today.

(Sadly, he's in the wrong theater.)

--------------

Akane sat in the theater with Ranma and Kodachi. The boy and the gymnast sat on either side of the tomboy, ensuring she didn't try to escape.

If Akane hadn't become such good friends with Ranma over the past few days, she would've pummeled him. THAT's how much she wanted out of this situation.

Kodachi sighed, leaning onto Akane's side, clutching her hand. They had gone to see some romance movie. Persoanlly, neither Ranma or Akane wanted to see it, they thought those kind of movies were boring. Plus, they had more than enough romance troubles in their lives, thank you very much.

But, now Kodachi was making her presence felt. Akane could feel the heat eminate from the gymnast's body, could feel her breath on her neck. It was making the tomboy very flustered.

Just a few more hours, and then she could get out of this.

A few more hours.

---------------

Akuma Akatsuki growled in impatience. The movie had already finished, and he was STILL waiting for Akane, Ranma and Kodachi.

He had been very careful in his decision, and he knew that Akane and Ranma hated romance films. Which left only the stupid matial arts film he was foreced to sit and watch. And he hated those kind of films, since Ranma's fights were always more interesting.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY!?" He screamed to the heavens, rising from his seat, his black trenchcoat billowing.

A few minute later, he was sitting on the street, having been thrown out for disorderly conduct.

They'll regret it. Noone treats a GOD like that, and gets away with it.

--------------

Thirty seconds later, all the staff and patrons of the theater (except for Ranma, Akane and Kodachi; they had already left long ago) had inexplicably switched genders. Noone commented on it, and quietly ignored it, planning to deal with it later. Well, except for that one person (you know the one) who always complains about everything, but naturally, everyone ignored him (her now).

And Akatsuki STILL hadn't gotten up from the sidewalk he was thrown on. He was too busy, fascinated as he was by a plastic bag caught in the wind.

-------------

Elsewhere, somewhere less chaotic, Akane, Ranma and Kodachi continued the date. They ahd gone to an expensive italian restaurant (Kodachi was paying, naturally).

Kodachi looked glum, sitting across from her current beloved. "You haven't been enjoying yourself have you, Akane-sama?"

"No,no,no! I had....fun." Akane denied (rather badly, I might add). "What makes you think that?"

Kodachi sighed, eyes downcast. "You don't need to lie for my sake. I know I haven't made a most stellar impression in the past, and I am aware how unwanted my attentions are. I understand." She started to cry. Ranma looked at Akane, frowning.

"You better do somethin', Akane." The pig-tailed boy reprimanded.

"What did I do!?" Akane asked.

Ranma inclined his head to the softly crying Kuno.

Akane sighed in resignation. "I'm....sorry, Kodachi. You've been trying, you haven't done anything to earn my dislike, lately. " She rached over, placing a hand on the gymnast's shoulder. "Don't cry. I don't hate you. In fact, I like you very much right now." She said this with a smile.

Kodachi looked up, her ears drying. "Really?" She squeeked.

"Really. Now, let's just continue on with this date."

Kodachi smiled. "Okay then."

-----------------

Akatsuki was busy searching for the two girls and one boy. Stupid plastic bag, distracting him like that.

He snapped his fingers, and a family of four (a mother, a daughter, a father, and a son) all switched bodies. Their day didn't go on so smoothly afterwards.

That did little to ease Akatsuki irritation. But, as a wise man once said, somtimes a little is enough.

-----------------

The date had ended, while not all that well (Akane barely said a word to Kodachi after her little pep-talk at the restaurant), satisfactorially.

Kodachi was clutching Akane's hand, beaming. She was even SKIPPING.

Finally, they had stopped in front of the Tendo dojo. Akane turned to her date, blushing.

"Well, uh, this is my stop." akane said, struggling. "I guess I'll, uh, see you later?"

Kodachi nodding, still smiling. "I had a wonderful time, Akane-sama. Please, don't hesitate to do it again, if you would be so kind to me. I truly love being in your beautious presence."

He charged forward, her lips connecting with the tomboys. After a LONG while, she sepearted, skiiping away in bliss,

Akane, stood in shock, frozen stiff. Her first kiss (she didn't really count the one she recieved from Ranma while he was under the Nekoken), and it had been at the lips of KODACHI.

"Come on, Casanova." Ranma said, in mock annoyance. "Let's get back inside. I'm sure everyone would LOVE to hear how your date went."

He grabbed the still frozen girl, and dragged her inside the dojo.

-----------------

Akastuki looked around himself. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was at Ayers Rock. He inhaled deeply, and braced his body.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW!?"

Akatsuki blinked (it's hard to tell, since you can't see his eyes under his black hat). That scream hadn't come from him, though he was going to yell those words. He turned, meeting eyes with Ryoga.

The lost boy waved.

Akatsuki jumped at the boy, yelling. His irritation ha dreached boiling point, and someone had to suffer.

----------------

_And there we go, the next part is FI-hihihi-NALLY done._

_I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do this chapter. The rest, I just made up on the spot. And that last part REALLY made me giggle. It is, in fact, as of right now, my favourite scene in this fic._

_What's going to happen next? What WILL happen next? And what's going to happen to Ryoga and Akatsuki? IS anything going to happen between them? I am open to suggestions._

_Hope ya enjoyed it, and please comment._


	5. Ryoko Enters the Scene

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 5: Ryoko Enters the Scene

Akastuki Akuma grinned (of course, since his face was basically a giant toothy mouth, he was always grinning). At Ayers Rock, he had encountered Ryoga Hibiki. Being in a rather bad mood at the time, he leapt on the boy and tried to strangle him, taking out his irritation on the closest person available.

After the first few minutes, thought struck him: why just leave it at the fiancees? Why not switch around the rest of Ranma's life? Then, Ranma would suffer too, and he everything would be just peachy-keen.

And now, he stood on Ayers Rock, chuckling manically.

Soon, both the tomboy and the aquatranssexual would know the true horror of Chaos.

His good mood won't last forever though, since in aproximately twelve seconds, he will realise that he's stuck in the Australian outback, with no visible means of quickly getting back to civilisation.

----------------

Akane and Ranma sat in at the breakfast table, with Shampoo draped on Akane's arm (it was starting to fall asleep). In the middle of the night, Shampoo decided to sneak into her Airen's room and snuggle up to her.

Kasumi had gone up to wake her sister (who was sleeping in more and more these days), and was surprised to see the sight of the amazon sharing a bed with Akane, and laying there ratehr intimately.

Soon, all the occupants of the house were informed, and now it was up to Ranma and Akane to explain matters.

"Well, you see," Akane began, "it started a few days ago. Shampoo was making another one of those stupid love potions. Ranma and I were going over to get something to eat. Ukyo and Kodachi must've heard about Shampoo's plan or something, because they came too. As soon as they saw the potion, Ukyo and Kodachi attacked Shampoo. Ranma had run off, not wanting to get invloved, and I wasn't sure how to handle the situations, so I just stood and stared."

"Ranma!" Genma shouted at his son. "How could you leave your fiancee in peril like that!?"

"I'm not finished!" Akane yelled at the sometimes-panda, who proptly sat back down in his chair. "While they were fighting, Shampoo's potion drifted in the air. Eventualy, it fell to the floor and the sound of it hitting the ground was what made them stop. It made some kind of fumes, and the fumes went into ther faces. Now, they're in love with me."

Soun, Kasumi, Nabiki and even Genma stared.

"All three of them?" Soun asked, pale.

Akane and Ranma nodded their heads. Shampoo looked kind of confused.

Soun and Genma ran to each other, crying. "What will become of the schools now!?" "The schools will never be united!"

Akane got angry, and was ready to yell at them.

"Shut the hell up!"

Everyone turned to Ranma, who had shouted at the two old men.

"Akane is havin' enough trouble as it is without you two makin' a fuss!" He chastised. "Until we've got this all sorted out, you will butt out and leave us alone. If I find out that you have been meddlin', there will be hell to pay."

Genma and Soun stared at the young man, going pale. Never had he shown such gumption, or even threatened them. They slowly nodded their heads and sat back down.

Ranma glared at Nabiki. "That goes for you too, Nabiki."

Nabiki snorted, not caring.

Kasumi looked extremly surprised. "Does...Does this mean that Akane's....?"

"NO!" Akane shouted. "I'm not like that! It's...it's THEM that's perverted! They're the ones who keep chasing me, who keep saying I'm theirs!"

"My poor Akane!" Soun wailed. "The schools will never be joined, now that she's out of the closet!"

Genma turned to his friend, a conspiratorial look in his eyes. "Don't worry, Soun. Ranma's curse will allow her to accept him. We just need to get him into his cursed form more often."

Ranma hit the two old men. "I said QUIT IT!"

"I told you, it isn't like that!" Akane yelled. Suddenly, the tomboy got a sense of deja vu.

This was EXACTLY what had happened with Ranma. Everyone ignored what he was saying, and went on believing that the situation was going somewhere that it wasn't. She realised that she had never once payed attention to what he was saying or trying to say, and just made assumptions.

She was starting to realise how much HELL Ranma had gone through. And now, he was rising to defend her, to ensure that she didn't have to deal with what he had.

She never realised what a friend she had.

"Akane Tendo, prepare to die!!!"

They all turned as an angry looking girl with a yellow bandana crashed through the wall, wielding a large umbrella.

Akane groaned. "What now?"

----------------

Akatsuki Akuma laughed. He had accomplished what he had set out to do, but he was enjoyin ghimself too much in this world to want to leave.

He clicked his fingers, and a poor moutain village suddenly found large deposits of gold in their homes and became a rich nation.

Chaos comes in all forms.

--------------

She sighed. Her brother was making a nuisance out of himself again. She would have to step in and stop it.

And so, the Lady of Order stepped out, ready to face her brother.

---------------

Akane dodged the young girl's attacks, unsure as to what was going on. This girl was dressed up as Ryoga, but she knew Ryoga didn't have a curse. Especially since Ranma would've said so.

Ranma jumped in and grabbed the girl's umbrella. "What are you doing?"

The girl suddenly became upset. "I..I'm sorry Ranma-san! I just....I just can't stand to see that...that playboy toy with your heart!" She jumped over the cursed boy, and resumed her attack on Akane.

Ranma ran after her, and grabbed her by the legs after a full 15 minutes of running around.

They all sat quietly, waiting for the girl to begin her tale.

"My name is Ryoko Hibiki." She explained. "I don't understand how you could all forget me. It's not as I'm not around very much. I met Akane in high school. She stole all the bread every day, and constantly bragged about how good she was. I eventually got to challenge her to a duel, but she ran out, like the coward that she is! I finally tracked her down here, and found out that she was engaged to Ranma-san! I made it my mission to punish her for her wicked deeds, and to rescue Ranma-san and make him happier!"

Ranma looked at the girl, half-lidded. "Do ya have a brother?"

Ryoko stared at him. "Of course not, Ranma." She glared at Akane. "However, SHE pretended to be my brother once, and tricked me countless times with disguises! That girl is a menace, a coward, a playbor and a --"

She was suddenly unconcious, Kodachi standing over her.

"It would appear," the former-madwoman said, "that this girl is one Ryoga Hibiki, with most of his life rewritten, as well as his gender."

Akane and Ranma quirked an eyebrow, and Shampoo glared at Kodachi. Shortly, she was unconcious too.

"How can that be Ryoga?" Akane asked. "How could he have different memories? And how did he become a girl?"

Suddenly, a young girl (around 10 or 12 years old) stepped out from behind Kodachi. "Perhaps I can explain?"

-------------

Akatsuki Akuma frowned. His sister was interferring, and he could not allow that.

He would have to deal with her, after he had his fun of course.

He snapped his fingers, and a game of Twister spun on his index finger.

He was going to have a whole LOT of fun.

---------------

OMAKE

(In a mysterious, near abandoned mental asylum, where it was perpetually cloudy and stormy, a young woman with red hair stood in a laboratory, with Mousse satnding before her. The womanw as Sara T. Fontanini, resident mad scientist.)

Sara: Gentlemen, behold!

(A large steel door opened behind her, revealing a large amount of squirrells dressed in black)

Sara: With my army of Cyborg Nina Squirrells (TM), I shall punish everyone who has given me a bad review for my fanfics!

(Mousse adjusted his glasses absently.)

Mousse: But, shouldn't respect their opinions instead of wasting your time and effort doing...this? Besides, what does this have to do with the story?

Sara: Silence!

(The army of Cyborg Ninja Squirrells (TM) leap at Mousse, and begin to DESTROY him.)

Sara: Now, move on kill my enemies!

(The Cyborg Ninja Squirrells do so."

Sara: Now, to make......EXPLOSIONS!

(The Cyborg Ninja Squirrells blow up. As does the President of Norway. Sara laughs maniacally, then a crack is heard and she falls down.)

Sara: MY BACK!

---------------

_Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, just introducing a new plot...thing. And also allowing the characters to know about Akatsuki._

_I apologise for the OMAKE thing, I didn't think this chapter was very funny, and I saw other fanfics do it, so I tried a hand at it._

_Now you know not to mess with me. (Just kidding, I'm not really that mean.)_

_If ou enjoyed the OMAKE, let me know, and I'll continue to do more. If it's too much of a distraction, I won't do it anymore._

_Hope ya enjoyed it, and please comment._


	6. Order Comes to Nerima

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 6: Order Comes to Nerima

Ranma and Akane were walking to school, ruminating on the events of yesterday.

--------------

**Yesterday Evening**

They all stared at the young girl who had stepped out from behind Kodachi. Kasumi had taken the prone forms of Ryoko and Shampoo and placed them comfortably next to each other on the wall.

"So, who are ya?" Ranma asked the girl. "Kodachi's little sister?"

The girl giggled "Oh, no way. I'm Shion, the Goddess of Order and Balance. I came here to make sure my brother doesn't cause trouble."

"Brother?" Akane asked.

Shion smiled warmly. "Yep. He's Akuma Akatsuki, God of Chaos. He seems to really like picking on you, Mr. Ranma!"

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked, glaring suspiciously.

"You don't think all the stuff that happens to you is all circumsance, do you? It's all becuase of my brother." Her expression saddened. "He's always so mean to everyone, especially you. And he only does it all because he's bored! I came here to stop him from doing anymore bad things! Especially considering the trouble he's causing for you and Miss Akane!"

"Wait, everything that's happened: the curse, the fiancees, the rivals, it's all because of some God messin' with my life!?" Ranma exclaimed. "Well, when i get my hands on him, I'll show him to mess with me!"

Akane nodded. "You can count me in. All this recent crap is all because of him too, I'll bet!"

Shion nodded. "Yes. My brother was gettingbored, so he decided to mix it up and switch your...problems around." She glanced at Ryoko. "he even changed that poor boy and his memories just so he could mess around Mr. Ranma some more."

"So, what do we do?" Ranma asked the Goddess.

"Nothing." Shion answered. "You shall continue on as normal. Meanwhile, I'll stay with Miss Kodachi. Now that I'm here, Akuma-kun will be drawn here, and he'll bring himself out into the open. It will take some time, but when he finally shows himself, then we can stop him once and for all!"

Raqnma and Akane slumped, nodding reluctantly. They wanted to be finished with all this crap, but if a Goddess said they had to wait, then they'll have to wait.

---------------

And so, the two teenagers were continung with their daily lives (at least, what constituted their daily lives at the moment).

"Acchan!"

Akane froze, and turned to find the approaching form of Ukyo Kuonji, dressed in her boy's school uniform. Akane quickly turned away, and tried walk away as quickly as she could. She didn't get very far when Ukyo leapt on her grabbed her arm.

"Oh, Acchan!" Ukyo sighed. "You mustn't have heard me, I was calling for you."

"Wh-what do you want, Ucchan?" Akane said, having recently gotten used to calling the chef by the nckname Ranma had given her.

Ukyo blushed, looking up at the tomboy. "Do I need a reson to be with my beloved Acchan?"

"When did you come up with that nickname?" Akane asked. It sounded...wrong to her ears, to be called by that nickname.

"Ranchan helped me come up with it!" Ukyo answered cheerfully. "We haven't hung out for while, so I'm thinking we can walk with each other!"

Akane blushed at the close contact, unsure how to handle things. "Well...you see...I...that is.." She turned to Ranma. "Come on, Ranma, help me out here!"

Ranma shook his head. "Oh, no, I don't want to get between you two." He jumped over them and ran ahaead. "You two take your time, I'll wait for ya!"

Akane stared miserably at his retreating form. Now she was stuck with Ukyo, for better or worse

----------------

Shion gasped happily at the size of the Kuno home. "Are you sure it's okay for me to stay here?"

"My father and brother are quite mad, I'm sure I'l think of something to distract them from your presence." Kodachi frowned. "I used to be like them, until the...incident."

"So, you remember?" Shion asked. "But, Shampoo and Ukyo seem to not remember, so what makes you different?"

"I wasn't in the right state of mind." Kodachi explained. "I believe that, due to that, instead of muddling my mind, like it did with the other two, the potion nstead cleared it." She smiled. "It's been wonderful. Noone's afraid of me, nor do they treat me like a monster. I never want to go back."

Shion frowned. "But, this isn't really you. None of this is. It's the potion."

"I know." Kodachi said, and began to cry. "Not event his love I feel is real. But, I don't want to be cured. I want to remain this way forever!"

"Why?" the Goddess asked. "Why can't you accept who you are and go back to normal?"

"I'll show you."

Kodachi took the little girl's hand and led her to a special room. It was Kodachi's private garden, kept hidden from prying eyes. All the plants, however, looked ugly or dead.

"What is all this?" Shion asked.

"My greatest shame." Kodachi said. "This place was my pride and joy, but I can never make anything worthwhile or beautiful grow. Only poisonous plants and narcotics." She held up her hands. "These hands cannot bring joy or happiness, only it has only until recently that I have noticed this."

Shion nodded. "I see, this garden is a metaphor for you. It represents the person you used to be, and all that person ever tried to achieve." Shion stared at the garden. "I understand. You don't want to be the type of person who cannot make anything beautiful grow." She closed her eys. "Very well then. I wil make sure that you are never cured, and that you remain who you are now. You have my word."

Kodachi smiled at the Goddess, crying. "Thank you."

They both turned, leaving the garden.

----------------

Akane sat in class, desperately trying to think of a way out.

She couldn't hurt Ukyo, or worse, have the chef chasing her in the name of revenge. But, she didn't like Ukyo that way, and she wasn't sure if she liked any of the girls like that.

The image of Kodachi, smiling, flashed through her mind. But she shook her head, dismissing the image. She was NOT like that!

She gulped. She could FEEL Ukyo staring at her lustily, and it made the tomboy blush.

She hoped that that Akuma guy appeared soon. She couldn't take much more of this.

----------------

Ryoko sat in the Tendo home, waiting.

She sighed. She had to beat Akane, and save Ranma. But, Ranma would hate her if she did that. But, if she didn't, who knew what that casanova would do to the pig-tailed aquatranssexual?

She sighed again. What a horrible connundrum.

--------------

There was a knock at the door, and Kasumi got up to answer it.

At the door, stood an...unusual man. He was dressed in a black trenchcoat, clack hat and balck pants, with shiny black shoes. all she could see of his face was a large, cheeky grin (How large? As big as your face.). He took of his hat and bowed.

"Good evening, madame."

Kasumi blushed. "H-hello."

The man put his hat back on, and produced a package. "I am a travelling salesman, I sell unique and interesting items. I have recently moved in, and I am getting to know the neighbours. As a momento of our meeting, I would like to present this gift upon your person."

Kasumi looked apprehensive. "Oh my, I shouldn't... It's probably very expensive, I'll owe too much."

The man gestured placatingly. "No charge at all, madame. After all, it is a gift. I merely ask that you hold onto it, and cherish it, as you shall cherish this meeting." He placed the box into her hands, and turned away. "well, I must be off, I am a busy person after all. perhaps, if the fates be willing, we'll meet again."

Kasumi blushed. "I...I'd like that, I think."

The man waved in parting. "good day, madame."

Kasumi close the door, the moment he was out of sight. What an odd man, but very...interesting.

She looked down at the box in her hands. It seemed to be some kind of board game. Maybe she could get everyone together, and they could all play it, get everyone's minds off everything.

---------------

Akuma Akatsuki chuckled. That was too easy. He loved that Kasumi, so easy to manipulate, to fool.

Plus, it didn't hurt to have a little Chaos God charm.

Now, he just had to sit back and wait. Soon, he'll have some more fun.

--------------

OMAKE

(In the abandoned mental asylum, Sara T. Fontanini stood before Mousse.)

Sara: Gentlemen, behold! DANCING!

(The giant door opened behind them, revealing pink bears in tutus, dancing.)

Mousse: Okay....

Sara: Now, ATTACK!

(The bears grow claws and fangs, and leap onto Mousse.)

Mousse: YEEEEAAARRRGHHH!

Sara: HAHAhAhAHA!

(A support beam falls from the ceiling and hits Sara.)

Sara: My liver!

----------------

_Once again, an OMAKE, even though one of my reviewers, Aceina, didn't want me too. Sorry, but once againt he chapter lacked humour, so I had to do it._

_And I am getting to a plotpoint suggested by another of my reviewers (forgot who), involving Twister. Hopefully, things will get back up to pace there._

_And I have formally introduced Shion, sister of Akuma Akatsuki. Hopefully, she can bring some order to Nerima._

_And, Ryoko only got a small scen this time. Don't worry, she'll get major part soon._

_Hope ya enjoyed it, and please comment! (Or else I'll send the pink bears in tutus at you!)_


	7. The Hazards of Twister

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 7: The Hazards of Twister

Nabiki sat in her room, pondering how to profit from the recent developments of late.

Her cell phone rang, and she picked it up. As she listened intently to the speaker, she smirked.

This could be the start of a VERY profitable relationship.

----------------------

Akane and a currently femal Ranma walked down the street back to the dojo. Ukyo hung on the tomboy's arm. Akane was a little weirded out by this, especially considering that the chef never did this with Ranma, but she chalked it up to the potion.

"Nihao!"

They looked up, and saw Shampoo's bike fly over the rooftops and land beside them. She and Ukyo glared at each other, ready to fght any second. Ranma didn't want a fight to break out, because Akane would get dragged into it.

"Look, guys." The red-head said, holding her hands up placatingly. "Let's not fight, it'll cause too much trouble. Let's just go back to the dojo and --"

"NO!" Both girls shouted, causing Ranma to flinch back.

The red-head sighed. If only there was some way to distract them.

"Akane Tendo, you unfaithful; letcher, prepare to die!"

They all turned to find Ryoko charging towards them.

"Ryo....ko." Akane almost slipped up. "Why can't we just settle down and talk it over? I don't want to fight you, especially not right now."

The lost girl smirked maliciously. "You don't, huh? Well, that's too bad, 'cause I do!"

She flung her razor sharp bandanas, and Akane got cut up on her arms and legs, the street behind her getting filled with deep gashes, and a couple of telephone poles getting cut down.

The tomboy glared. "Ryoko....why?"

"Because of you, Tendo, I HAVE SEEN HELL!"

Ryoko punched Akane in the stomach, and then performed a whirling kick, hitting the tomboy in the face. The youngest Tendo was feeling woozy, this being her fist real fight with someone of the lost girl's caliber. She dodged as Ryoko tried to punch her again, but was flung aside when she was struck by the umbrella hitting her side. Ryoko stepped forward, a triumphant smile on her face. she help up her umbrella over Akane's prone and beaten form, ready to deal a final blow.

"Ryoko, Stop!"

The lost girl turned, and saw the redhead brought to tears.

"Ryoko, ya won. Please, just leave it at that." Ranma pleaded, her tears only half-fake. "I don't want to see Akane get hurt. So please, just stop."

Ryoko stared at the red-head, and then looked back at Akane. She then turned and fled downt he opposite street, hoping to get lost.

A passing truck drove through a puddle, causing the bandana-wearing girl to get splashed.

Akane got up, and saw her beloved pet, P-chan. She smiled, and ran over to the little piglet.

"P-chan!"

She was stopped by the pig biting her hand, and she backed away in pain. She didn't understand why he had attacked her. She couldn't mistake the little piglet, since he wore the same bandana.

Ranma walked over, and picked the pig up. She smiled down at it.

"You shouldn't hurt Akane, P-chan. That's not a very nice thing to do, bad girl."

Akane's eye twitched. Ranma held up the little pig, and the tomboy could clearly see that it was, indeed, female.

Akane just couldn't understand. "What..but, P-chan.....bandana....Wha!?"

Ranma smiled warmly. "If ya think about it, ya could probably figure it out. Of course, I don't have very high hopes." She turned away, the stunned Shampoo and Ukyo absently following her.

Akane stared down the street where she had found P-chan. She suddenly realised that it was same direction that Ryoko had ran down.

-----------------

Kasumi called Kodachi, and asked if the Kuno could come over to the dojo. Kodachi had accepted the invitation, and soon was on her way over, with Shion by her side.

She couldn't wait to see her beloved Akane again.

------------------

When Akane finally arrived home, she was shocked to find that not only were Ranma, Genma and her family waiting for her, but Kodachi, Shampoo, Ukyo and even Shion had come over too.

Kasumi smiled warmly. "I thought that, because of everything that has happened lately, we could have a party to take our minds of everything for a little while." She held up a cardboard box. "Someone even came over and gave me this, and I thought we could all play it later on."

Everyone nodded at this. It would be good to unwind and have some fun for awhile, and not have to worry about magic, curses and Chaos Gods.

-----------------

Akuma Akastuki watched with interest, grinning his ever present grin.

He was going to enjoy watching this.

-----------------

Akane confonted Ranma outside, wanting a private chat with the red-head. Ranma still held P-chan in her arms.

"I figured it out." Akane said emotionlessly.

Ranma tilted her head. "Figured what out, Acchan?"

"Cut the crap! I know about P-chan! I know that Ryoko is --!"

P-chan jumped onto the tomboy's face, scratching and biting violently.

"Stay out of this!" Akane yelled, grabbing the piglet and kicking it away.

Ranma chuckled. "So, ya finally figured it out?"

Akane glared. "Of course. After that whole thing in the street, what else could I think?" She shook her head. "Damn, why didn't I ever see it? And I called YOU a pervert."

Ranma frowned. "So, whatcha goin' ta do about P-chan? Not that I care about the guy nothin', but I don't wanna see him....her get hurt."

Akane grinned teasingly. "Nothing, same as you did. She can be your pet from now on, and she can sleep with you instead."

Ranma blanched. "W-why!? I don' wanna share a bed with him!"

"But she's not Ryoga anymore." AKane said, matter-of-factly. "She's Ryoko, and as long as you're a girl and she's a pig, it's okay." Akane grinned. "Think of it as pay back for all the teasing."

The red-head turned the same shade as her hair. "But....But....But...."

"it's not perverted. It's just a pretty girl and her pet pig." Akane turned away, walking back inside. "Besides, she doesn't even realise that you know, so it'll be fine."

Ranma was left alone, frozen in embarrassment, shame and horror.

----------------

Akatsuki laughed like a maniac.

Sure, it didn't turn out EXACTLY as he wanted, but Ranma is unhappy, and that means that all's right with the world.

He snapped his fingers, and plane that was flying smoothely over the Atlantic suddenly began to crash downwards.

Who said a Chaos God had to care if anyone lived or died?

---------------

The time had come to play Twister. Everyone voted on who got the first shot. It was soon decided that Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi would all have a shot.

(The author would like to state right now that she has never played Twister, and never will. So, if she gets some details or game rules wrong, that's cause she thoughtlessly ran into this without doing a smidge of research.)

Very soon, the girls were in their places. Akane was at the bottom of the heap, blushing madly as Shampoo's ample chest hovered over her face; the amazon's leg between the tomboy's thighs. Ukyo was next up on the pile, Shampoo lying horizontaly beneath her. Finally, Kodachi was stuck with her face near Ukyo's righ leg, and the fornely-madwoman's left leg was drapped over the chef's shoulder. She was also in an uncomfortable face up potion.

And soon, they discovered a very terrible problem. They were stuck. As in, couldn't move even a finger off the spots they were stuck in.

Which was why Ranma and Shion feed them, while those with at least an arm free could fend for themselves.

Akane was stuck underneath them all, bluching, hoping the nightmare would end.

"Ooooh!' Shampoo cooed. "Akane very excited, like situation very much, yes?"

Akane shook her head, or at least tried to. "No! It's not like that! I'm not excited at all!"

Ukyo smirked. "I can smell your lovely natural perfume from here, Acchan!"

Ranma giggled. "Akane, you're such a pervert!"

"WAAAAAH!" Soun wailed. "My little girl has become warped by all this chaos!"

"It doesn't matter!" Genma remarked. "She'll still marry Ranma!"

"Oh my!"

Nabiki took a photo, grinning.

Shion just stared at all this in puzzlement.

Akane wailed, not happy with the situation at all.

-----------------

Akuma Akatsuki laughed and laughed and laughed.

Now that he had some fun with Akane, he could focus on Ranma again. However, he couldn't think of anything to do.

Maybe his new friend had some ideas?

------------------

OMAKE

(Sara T. Fontanini, dressed in royal-looking robes stood over her minions, who lyally served the noble ideological organisation, ACROSS.)

Sara: This world....is corrupt!

(Ranma and Shampoo saluted.)

Shampoo: How world corrupt?

Sara: This world is filled with corruption! Perversion, censorship, war, poverty, crime, free internet downloads, arrogant douchebags, those little coffee mugs, poodles, bad fanfic reviews! All these things and more are what make this world corrupt! And so, it is through our organisation, ACROSS, that we shall conquer the world a step at a time, and remove all corrption from this world!

(Ranma and Shampoo saluted again.)

Sara: with that said, your mission is to...

(a screen turns on, showing the images of several people.)

Sara:...murder these people!

Ranma: I'm not questioning your greatness, Lord Fontanini, but why do we have ta kill these guys?

Sara: I'll tell you why......THEY ARE THE PEOPLE WHO CENSOR ALL MY FAVOURITE ANIME!

Ranma & Shampoo: Oh.

Sara: Now, go and estroy them!

Ranma: Right! Hail Sara T. Fontanini!

(Shampoo falls to the ground, dying.)

Shampoo (weakly): Hail....Elder Fontanni.

MEANWHILE

(Ryoga, Gosunkugi and Picolet are sitting in Ryoga's apartment, eating sukiyaki. Well, Gosunkugi and Picolet are, they always grab something out of Ryga's hands before he eats it.)

Ryoga (angry): You numbnuts always scum off me for food!

(Gosunkugi and Picolet ignore him and continue eating.)

Ryoga: Ranma Saotome, this is all your fault!

(A puucuu walks in.)

Ryoga (blushing): It's so cute!

(Ryogo turns angry and kills the puuchuu, whuch turns into golgo 13 face.)

Ryoga: BUT WHO THE HELL CARES WHEN I'M BEING EAEN OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME!

(The apartment gets blown up by a missile.)

Ranma: Whoops. Wrong target.

LATER

(Ranma and Shampoo stand before Sara T. Fontanini. A rope is suspened next to Sara.)

Sara: You have failed Ranma, and so here's your punsihment!

(She pulls the rope, and a trapdoor opens beneath Ranma. The red-head falls in.)

Ranma: AAAAAHHH!

(Sara smiles as a splash is heard.)

Sara: Ah, bliss.

-----------------

_And here's the next chapter._

_I apologise aboutt the shortness of the twister thing, even though ti was foreshadowed in two other chapters. But, that's how things go._

_The OMAKE is my of experimenting with Excel Saga, which I intend to do a crossover fic about. If you like this idea, or don't, let me know._

_Hope ya enjoyed it, and please coment!_


	8. ChChChanges

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 8: Ch-Ch-Changes

Akuma Akatsuki was having a good day. He had made a new friend, completely warped and twisted a person's very life, made some headway into seducing a very pretty lady, and to top it all off, he had managed to fit in some time to screw with Akane Tendo.

Too bad he couldn't do anything to Ranma, but he can deal with that. For now.

At the moment, he decided to have a bit of a break. He DID put in some overtime, after all. So, for now, he was just going to sit back, relax, drink a sarsaparilla and let everything play itself out.

He was so thankful that the people of this town are so prone to insanity.

Ranma awoke slowly. It was one of those rare mornings when his father DIDN'T suddenly attack him and throw him out the window.

He felt something small and warm next to his chest, and he looked down. It was P-chan.

......

......

......

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

Akane had slept peacefully, despite the ruckus of the previous evening. Fortunately, someone had managed to get in contact with cologne and the old woman had managed to free the young women from the Twister Game of Awkward Embarrassment.

Things went downhill when Shion asked why Akane was blushing so intently and what Ukyo had meant by natural perfume, and a few other equally uncomfortable questions. It seems, even though she is a God, she's still a child and doesn't quite understand EVERYTHING about the world.

Naturally, no one wanted to tell her, on account of it being extremely awkward embarrassing. But that only made her more persistent, constantly asking her questions over and over again, and extremely loudly.

When she had finally calmed down (after a bit of a talk with Kasumi, the contents of said conversation going unexplained) everyone had been so tired out by her nonsense that they just went right to bed, and the visitors returned to their respective homes.

As previously mentioned, Akane was sleeping peacefully, until....

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

Akane woke, and grumpily got up out of her bed. She got dressed and stomped over to Ranma's room, entering inside.

Ranma was at the farthest end of the room, staring at her bed. Akane noted that P-Chan was there. She walked over to her the cursed boy.

"Ranma, what's with all the racket?" she asked, annoyed.

"P-P-P-P-P-P-Chan!"

Akane nodded. "Yes, I can see her. I'm not blind, ya know."

Ranma stared at her, shocked by her nonchalance. "WHY is P-CHAN is MY bed!?"

"Well, Ranma, I would dare say it's because she's YOUR pet, and you go to bed with her ALL THE TIME." Akane shook her in exasperation. Sure, it's hard to deal with changes in the morning, but come on.

Ranma stared, wide-eyed, and looked between his friend and the pig, which looked around in confusion.

"Oh yeah..." Ranma said, remembering. "That Akatsuki guy changed everything, didn't he?"

"Yep." Akane replied. "Now how about you go and reassure that pig of yours? She looks really worried." She looked thoughtful. "Well, about as worried as a pig can look, I guess."

Ranma sighed, crouched down; arms open, trying his best to look welcoming. "Come on, P-Chan. It's alright; I was just having a bad dream, that's all. Nothing to be worried about."

P-Chan glared at Akane, probably thinking that the tomboy had something to do with Ranma's behaviour. The pig then ran right into Ranma's arms, squealing happily. Ranma smiled, though his face was twitching uncontrollably. He knew he had to pretend to LIKE the pig, but it was just so....weird.

Still, it beat having the jerk run around attacking him.

Sometime later, the two of them walked to school. They were busy discussing a certain pig-boy turned girl.

"You seem to have gotten accustomed to her." Akane stated.

"Well, I figure it's best if I just play along for now, until we figure some way to fix everything." He shrugged. "Besides, I kinda like Ryoko. I think I understand why you liked Ryoga so much."

"Please!" Akane said huffily. "If I had known then what I know now....."

"Yes?"

"OH, I don't know! But we would've seen far less of that jerk, that's for sure." She snorted. "Besides, the only reason you like HER is because she doesn't try to kill YOU everyday anymore."

Ranma nodded. "That's part of it. But it's also because...well, it's like she needs me to protect her. You see how small she is? I think....I think she hasn't had a lot of luck with her curse, and she needs someone to care for her, rather than try and kill her." He smirked. "Besides, she's really cute, in either form."

He dodged the punch Akane launched at him.

Nabiki pondered. So far, she hadn't come up with any way to take advantage of the current situation, apart from the most obvious, but that wouldn't cut it.

You see, she liked to make money, it's true, but she also liked to cause mischief. And she LOVED to cause mischief while making heaps of money.

It's pretty understandable why she could so easily get along Akatsuki-kun.

And yes, she had indeed joined forces with the Chaos God. She hoped to contact him and get some ideas on what to do.

(Is ANYONE surprised by this?)

It was lunch time, the one time of the day where the students could eat AND speak to friends.

Also, it's more convenient for the plot to have everything happen at lunch time.

Putting the fourth wall breakage aside, Akane sat with her two closest friends, Sayuri and Yuka, who had yet to make an appearance in this fic and threatened legal action if I did not include them in this chapter.

"Is it true Akane?" Yuka asked, concern plastered all over her face.

Akane raised an eyebrow, gazing at her friend suspiciously. "Is WHAT true?"

"Is it true that you're gay, and have somehow managed to steal Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi away from Ranma?" Sayuri finished for her friend.

Akane's eye twitched, and she managed to blush even though her brain was currently crashing and rebooting. "Wh-wh-wh-wh-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

"That's what everyone's saying." Yuka explained. "Although, it does explain certain things."

"I DIDN'T SEDUCE ANYONE!!!" Akane screamed. "H-HOW COULD ANYONE COME TO THAT RIDICULOUS CONCLUSION!?"

She ran away, not wanting to be around these idiots anymore. She only got about 20 centimetres away before she collapsed, fainting. Ranma walked over and picked her up.

"Well, I better get Akane to Doc Tofu's. See ya all later."

He ran off, leaving everyone else to stare.

"Was it something we said?" Sayuri wondered aloud.

Doctor Tofu had said that Akane was simply overstressed, and should probably get some rest. Ranma walked back home with her, making sure she was alright.

"I'm sorry." Ranma apologised. "If I had known how it was stressing you out, I would've tried to do somethin'."

"Like what? Face it Ranma, if you couldn't solve your own problems, what makes you think you can solve mine?"

Ranma drooped at that, and didn't say another word.

"And it's not your fault." Akane said, placing a comforting hand on her friend's back. "I...I deserve this. I can see now all the crap you had to put up with, all the people assuming everything, all the unwanted attention, even that bastard Ryoga. This is my punishment for all the crap you had to put with because of me, because I didn't lift a finger to help, or to even try to understand."

Ranma smiled a bit. "No, you don't deserve this. Just because you didn't make an effort to understand, doesn't mean you deserve to have your life messed around like this." He grinned slyly. "Besides, it's not like its all bad."

Akane nodded. "Yeah....I mean, Kodachi's so much nicer now, and...well, that guess that's it."

"Yeah, she sure is much better to get along with now. Now, let's get you home. You need some rest. And later, we can try to sort out this whole mess."

Akane smiled. "Thanks a lot Ranma. I really appreciate you helping me out like this."

"That's what friends are for."

Shampoo began plotting. She had heard that her Airen had gone on a date with the crazy girl. She knew this was a lie, but still it worried her.

She would not allow anyone to have her Airen. Akane was hers, and hers alone.

_Yeah, sorry about the massive delay, I lacked inspiration. I pretty much forced myself to write this up, and I think it shows. The only reason this chapter exists is because I want everyone to know that I haven't given up on writing._

_Besides, I can't leave my fans hanging any longer._

_And I have confirmed a plot point previously hinted at. I just felt like confirming it, is all._

_And I apologise for a lack of OMAKE here, I just don't have any ideas for one here. Besides, the chapter's....kinda funny, I think._

_Hope ya all enjoyed it, and please comment!_


	9. Another date and Chaotic Scheming

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 9: Another Date and Chaotic Scheming

Akuma Akatsuki was currently playing a game of cards with a few other deities he got along with. The specific game they were playing is unknown, but it did involve sitting together at a round table, and it involved the use of playing cards. It might've been poker, but who knows or even cares, really?

Akatsuki grinned. "I think I've got a winning hand here, Loki."

The Norse chaos god scoffed. "I'll believe that when I see it, Akatsuki. Don't forget to pay up, like you did last time, and the time before that, and—"

"We get the point, Loki." Fate replied testily, his blank expression giving nothing away as to his emotions. "We are all well aware of Akatsuki's habits, no need to bring it up again. Don't forget, you're not the only one he's cheated. Remember Atlantis?"

Zeus sighed. "I certainly do. 'I bet you that city will sink'. 'That's a sucker bet'. 'Then we shall see. The winner gets whatever they want'." He rubbed his forehead, groaning. "I was so stupid. How was I supposed to know that the jerk had weakened the bearings? And then he ran hither and yonder, throwing my thunderbolts around willy-nilly."

Akatsuki chuckled. "That was a good day. Sunk a city, and made the worst thunder storm in history."

Set growled. "Can we get back to the game? I mean, who cares about what happened in Olympus? I certainly don't. I just want to play a game here, there's no need reminiscing on what's done."

Loki sneered. "Oh shut it, you furry. You just want to win back Horus' eye which you lost last time."

"That bastard cheated me and you know it!"

Fate picked up a card from the deck, carefully viewing it with his black, empty eyes and then putting it in his hand. "He cheats everyone, Set. It's his nature. That's why he doesn't have many friends."

"You're friends with him." Zeus noted.

"That's because I, unlike everyone else, am not personally bothered by his behaviour. And it's not like I don't see him coming. It's perfectly within his nature."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Akatsuki grinned. "Besides, at least I'm not a big ol' pervert, like some people I'd care to mention."

Zeus slammed his fists on the table. "I was young, and arrogant. I've learned my lesson, so shut it."

"That's 'cause no one worships you anymore." Loki said. "That, and well..."

Set sighed. "Let's just get back to the game. We don't get together like this just to remember the bad stuff."

"Yes, let us please get back to me kicking your asses." Akatsuki replied cockily. "And I promise not to cheat."

The others sighed. That meant he had just cheated and was going to win, and there was no further need to cheat.

Being a deity sucked, sometimes. Especially when you hang around with a guy named Akatsuki Akuma.

----------------

Nabiki readied her camera, ensuring she had film and that it wasn't broken and whatnot. Akatsuki had finally gotten back to her, and told her that something very interesting was going to happen today.

All she had to do was take some pictures, distribute them around to certain individuals (or just everyone) and let the magic happen.

She could see some profit coming her way at the very moment.

Sure, Akane and maybe even Ranma might get a little annoyed with her, but she was sure they'd understand.

It was nothing personal, it's just business.

------------------

Akane sat on her bed, enjoying a rare moment of peace. She idly wondered if this is how Ranma felt on days like this, with no-one causing a ruckus or just generally making his life hell.

She had been allowed some time off from school, at least until she became better. She was thankful for that, since it seemed that a lot of the worst stuff happened during school hours.

What she wasn't thankful for was that she was starting to feel better already, and Kasumi could never be lied to. Even if you did manage to perform an act of dishonesty in front of the girl, she would somehow know whether you're lying or not, no matter what. It was like some sixth sense or something.

And she REALLY didn't want to go anywhere today, especially not that madhouse they call a school.

She glared at the pig currently sharing her room, which had been, in turn, glaring at her for a good while now. "What are you looking at, porky? Ranma's gone to school, and he left you in my care for God knows what reason." She sighed. "Look, I'm not too happy about it either, but I can't have you getting lost or something. No matter what that idiot says, he cares about you a lot."

She smiled a bit at that. She never fully realised it before, but Ranma was an incredibly kind person, who cared about others so much, often to his own detriment.

She sighed happily, thinking of her friend. And that's when someone on a bicycle crashed through the wall. Akane glared, her eye twitching. Just once, could something NOT happen in her life, just once? And without damage to her home?

She wondered, once more, if Ranma had felt like this back when he was the source of all chaos.

"Shampoo," the tomboy asked irritably, "why are you here? And could you have come in here WITHOUT destroying my room?"

Shampoo put a finger up to her lip coquettishly, gazing at the tomboy, oblivious to her annoyance. "Shampoo want date. Come ask Akane date Shampoo."

Again, Akane's eye twitched. "And why would I do THAT!?"

Shampoo started to get teary eyed. "A-Akane no like Shampoo? Akane like crazy rich girl?" She growled, getting angry. "If Shampoo no can date, Shampoo kill!" She brought out her bonbori from.....somewhere.

Akane stared in terror at the weapons, knowing how dangerous the Amazon could be. She held up her hands placatingly. "I-it's alright, Shampoo. Just put down the weapons and I'll.....I'll..." She closed her eyes, gulping. "I'll go on a date with you. Just stop crying, and don't try and kill me."

The bonbori disappeared, and Shampoo gazed unsure. "Really?"

Akane gulped nervously, wishing desperately that something would happen, anything, that would stop her from finishing her sentence. "Y-yes, Shampoo, I will."

Shampoo jumped forward, encompassing the tomboy in a lung crushing embrace. "Shampoo so happy!" The Amazon cried, beaming. "Shampoo go get ready, Akane come by Nekohanten, yes?"

She rode off on her bicycle, leaving another large whole, next to the first. Akane collapsed to the ground, pale.

What the hell did she do now!?

Ranma smiled amusedly, having gotten back home and learning about Akane's latest bit of misfortune.

"Ya know," he began, "I always felt you two fought a little too much. I guess you were just denying your heartfelt desire for each other!"

He laughed as he dodged Akane's enraged punches.

"Shut up, you jerk!" Akane growled. "This isn't funny! You think I want this? I hate it, I hate it all! The fights, the fiancées, everything! And yet, I have to go on this date, or else Shampoo'll either become incredibly depressed, or homicidally furious! And, trust me, neither option is okay."

The boy nodded in understanding. "You're like me then. I can't stand to see people unhappy, especially girls. With Shampoo it was doubly troublesome, because I always thought that, if they felt threatened enough, they would just try and kill me instead. And, out of all of them, I just couldn't stand seein' Shampoo cry."

Akane nodded. "Yeah, it is hard to ignore." She glared at P-chan, who was currently being held in Ranma's arms, fidgeting furiously, trying to attack the tomboy for some stupid reason. "And make sure that she doesn't do anything to exacerbate things. I DON'T want some stupid grudge match to top it all off; I have enough to deal with already."

Ranma saluted. "Yes ma'am! I'll try my best, you can count on me!"

Akane sighed. "Now, help pick out something to wear. I'm not going in half assed like I did with Kodachi; if I'm doing this, I'm going to do it right!"

Nabiki grinned, eavesdropping on Ranma and Akane's conversation. She had been doing this for years, and found it was handy source information. It just wasn't as elegant as she would've liked.

She now knew what Akatsuki had meant about today. She could practically hear the money she'd make off this, IF she played her cards right.

She had everything ready. She just had to make sure that nothing interrupted her, or that she isn't seen by her sister or her date.

Akatsuki Akuma and Zeus were out on a night on the town, in Vegas.

They were also completely drunk.

Of course, being deities, they could simply not be affected by the alcohol, but that would spoil it. After all, the only reason one drinks is to get drunk, right?

At least, that's what Akatsuki believed.

"You...." Akatsuki said to his fellow drunk. "You....are the man."

Zeus shook his head. "No, no. I'm just a horny bastard who couldn't keep it in his pants. You, sir, are the man."

Akatsuki spotted a couple of nice looking young women. "Hey...hey man...I just got....the CRAZIEST idea for a gag EVER... Jus....Just follow...my lead, and we'll....man, just trust me for a minute...It's gonna be...HILARIOUS."

"O....Okay man...Jus...Just waitaminute, I gotta go...gotta...." Zeus was beginning to look a little green.

After Zeus was feeling a little better, he and Akatsuki went after the two good looking young women.

Akane waited outside the Nekohanten, not wanting to warrant any unwanted attention from Mousse or Cologne. She wasn't sure how well aware they were of the situation, and didn't much care to find out.

She looked down, blushing, at her attire. Ranma could be such a pain at times, especially when he felt like riling Akane up. The only reason she wore the stupid getup was because her stubborn pride wouldn't allow her to give Ranma any satisfaction from her dire straits.

Which was why she currently wore the men's shirt, jacket and slacks. They were rather large, and were kinda baggy on her frame. Ranma had said that, since she was going on a date with a pretty young girl like Shampoo, she might as well look the part.

She growled in annoyance. That jerk may call her a tomboy, and admittedly that title might hold some ground, but that did not excuse practically forcing her to dress up like a man while she begrudgingly went on a date with that Amazon bimbo!

At least it wasn't a tuxedo. It was a regular, non-formal date, so a tux was out of the question. She wasn't sure whether she would've handled a tux. It just seemed so....final.

She turned as Shampoo walked out of the restaurant. "Are you ready?" Akane said, less than cheerfully.

"Yes, Shampoo ready."

Akane said, holding out her arm to the other girl. "Then let's get this over with."

Shampoo squealed happily, placing her date's arm over her shoulders. Once again, Akane sighed.

She really, really hated her life right about now.

-------------------

Mousse watched from the window, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Shampoo had been going on about some plan or something to win her Airen's heart. Of course, he had assumed that she was talking about Saotome, but he could tell that this wasn't the cursed boy. It was that....other woman, what's-her-name, the one he was always hanging out with.

He was getting extremely worried. He didn't know why Shampoo had gone off with Saotome's woman, or why the other woman was wearing men's clothes, but he bet his glasses that Saotome was behind it all somehow.

He was going to have to keep an eye on the two. A close eye.

------------------

_Well, that's that. Hope you enjoy it, you little bastards. _

_Unfortunately, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut this chapter a little shortly, to avoid an overly long chapter length. That, and I just don't feel like writing too much._

_Hope you enjoyed it, and please comment!_


	10. A Catastrophic Day Out

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 10: A Catastrophic Day Out

Akuma Akatsuki had a massive hangover. He liked getting drunk, but the after effects were always such a KILLER.

He looked around himself. Zeus was lying in a far corner of the room, lying in a pile of his own vomit. The man just couldn't hold his liquor, not like Akatsuki.

Last night they had some fun. The looks on those women's faces when he....it made him snicker just thinking about it, especially considering it happened right in the middle of a public place. Oh, Zeus looked really pleased when it happened. Buit, then again, it was the kinda gag Zeus enjoyed most. Akatsuki didn't really get the interest, of course. He knew the reasons and purpose behind it all, but it just wasn't his thing.

All he knew was that their embarrassment amused him, and that they would need to get themselves a new wardrobe.

He checked around the room once more. It was going to take some serious chaos to fix this mess. But, he could do it, because....he was the man.

* * *

Akane was very embrassed. No, beyond that. She was mortified.

Shampoo had dragged her all over, forcing her to buy things for her. And, of course, everyone they came across thought that she was a young man, and so everyone kept congratulating her for having such a 'cute girlfriend' or staring at them enviously, desiring one or the other.

But that wasn't the worst of it all. No, compared to the situation Shampoo currently dragged her into, all those other things were just mildly irritating.

You see, Shampoo had dragged her into some restaurant. It was kinda fancy, kinda expensive, but worst of all, people she knew were dining there. It was like the physical manifestation of her worst nightmares.

And, of course, she couldn't back out now. She COULD try and change Shampoo's mind, but her pride would be beaten back, and she'd feel like a coward.

Her and her damn pride.

So, she tried to look as nonchalant as possible as they were led to their table and made their orders. Akane was sure that everyone was looking at her, whispering behind her back. She tried to hide, just wanting to escape.

Nearby, Sayuri and Yuka sat, staring at the couple. They recognised Shampoo (how could they not?) but who was that other person next to her. He was kinda cute, in a somewhat effeminate way. They were so jealous.

Hiroshi also sat nearby, dining with a cute girl. They had also noticed the new couple. The young man wondered who Shampoo was going out with now, and whether that meant that all the rumours were false (which he had been so sure were true). He also wondered what this meant for Ranma.

Hell, even Nodoka was there. Why is a mystery (then again, why Sayuri and Yuka are there is also unknown, and probably very interesting to know of), though she was still attired as she usually was, carrying her ever present katana. She looked over at Akane and Shampoo, stars in her eyes. She hoped that her son had a relationship as nice as that of the young teens before her.

She might introduce herself to them later. They might be helpful in getting her son to admit his feelings for Akane. Besides, it's always nice to meet new people.

* * *

Nabiki was having a terrible day. Things kept happening that caused her to lose track of her quarry. A recent fight had caused a large pothole to be formed, and she didn't notice in time, and so she fell in. It had caused her camera to be crushed and it took her hours to get out.

She had been able to finally find her sister and the Amazon some time later, but accidentally bumped into someone, making them drop and break an expensive vase. By the time she had paid off the damages, she had once again lost the couple.

Fortunately, she had the good sense to send some of her lackeys off to track the two young women, and she knew them well enough to know they would do the job adequately.

After this, she was so going to charge Akatsuki for all the trouble she was put through.

* * *

Akane glanced around anxiously, wishing for something, anything, to happen that would get her out of this mess.

Shampoo laid a hand on Akane's, a sad expression on her face. "You no like spend time with Shampoo, do you?"

Akane shook her ehad, smiling nervously. "Of course I do. It's just, I recognise a few people, and I'm just worried about all the rumours and stuff that'll spread."

Shampoo turned away huffily, crossing her arms. "Akane lie! Akane hate Shampoo! Like Crazy girl more!" The Amazon started to cry. "Akane wish never met Shampoo! N-no-one like Shampoo, only stupid Mousse!"

Akane was filled with concern for the other girl. "That's not true. Cologne is your family, she loves ya."

"She only see Shampoo as tool. Not really care about Shampoo. No-one do. Not Great-grangmother, not stupid Mousse, Not Ranma.....not you." Her voice cracked at this.

Akane grabbed the Amazon by the shoulders, staring deeply in her eyes. "That's not true! I care about you!"

"Then why unhappy date Shampoo?"

Akane was lost for words, and she tried to come up with something to retort with. However, she was unable to come up with anything to say.

Shampoo turned away, not wanting to let Akane see how broken hearted she was.

God, could the day get any worse?

Suddenly, Mousse crashed through the window of the restaurant. He looked around, and then pointed at a random stranger.

"Akane Tendo, I don't know nor understand what's going on between you and Shampoo, but regardless, I will NOT allow it!"

Akane slapped her forehead. "God, you idiot, put your freakin' glasses on."

Mousse did so, apologising to the large gentlemen he had been threatening. He looked around, spotted Akane, and then leapt over, throwing several knives her way. Akane managed to dodge out of the way, grateful at least for the distraction, though not for the form it had taken.

Shampoo had turned back, growling in annoyance. She was not in the mood for Mousse's idiocy, especially since she was still upset from Akane's undisguised behaviour.

Akane decided that the best tactic would probably be to go on the offensive, and came at Mousse with a spinning kick. The attack connected, just as Mousse was going to throw....a large rock (seriously, where does he get this stuff?). Of course, this caused Mousse to throw his makeshift weapon off target, and both he and Kane stared in mounting horror as the large body of rock went right for Shampoo.

Shampoo stared, a deer caught in the headlights. As it came near, she managed to turn away, at the very least trying to make the effort of escape.

She heard a noise as the stone weapon connected with something. Shampoo turned, and saw Akane holding the rock at bay, the tips of her finger sand palms of her hands bleeding. Akane let go of the rock, allowing it to fall to the ground. She turned back to Shampoo, smiling reassuringly.

"You alright, Shampoo?"

The Amazon was pale. "Why....why you save Shampoo?"

"Just because I don't like ya doesn't mean I want to see ya get hurt." The tomboy said, though a little contradictory. "So, you alright?"

Tears welled up in Shampoo's eyes, and decided to do the only thing that matched the depths of her gratitude.

She grabbed Akane's shoulders and gave the tomboy a deep, passionate kiss. Akane struggled initially, but soon fell into it, returning the Amazon's affections.

Mousse could do nothing as he was chased away by the angry proprietors of the restaurant.

* * *

Nabiki looked down at the photographs. Akatasuki was right. These babies were going to be VERY profitable. Some more than others.

Especially the last few. She defiantely saw lots of potential, both for profit and entertainment value. All she needed was the right spin.

Akatsuki was going to be pleased.

* * *

Akatsuki looked over the hotel room. Flooding didn't work. Neither did fire, nor meteors, or giant monster attack or alien invasion or tentacle monster. That last actually made things even worse.

He was running out of ideas to fix the trashed apartment. And he'd be DAMNED if he was going to get stuck with the repair bill. And so, he did the one thing he could think of.

He ran away, yelling 'woop, woop, woop', leaving the still passed out Zeus to take care of it.

* * *

_And now, because this chapter lacked humour, here's yet another_

OMAKE

(Sara T. Fontanini, red-haired mad-woman and eccentric nerd, was busy preparing all the back stage stuff.)

Sara: Okay, Manuelle get those guitars ready for the finale. I just want them ready when we eventually end this thing.

Manuelle (salutes): Si.

Sara: Akane, stop making out with Shampoo for a sec and go over your script.

Akane (breaking from Shampoo): hey screw you; I'm trying to score here!

Kodachi (fuming): Akane-sama! You are supposed to be mine!

Ukyo (also fuming): Me too!

Akane (placating): Don't worry, guys, I'll get around to you soon.

Sara: Akane! Obey me! I made you, and I can unmake you!

Mousse: No you can't. This is a fanfic. You merely hired us out of work players after Takahashi-san was done with us.

Sara: Ng.....ngh......Uhn.....Quiet you. And where the hell's Ranma and Akatsuki.

Nabiki (reading note on placard): Ranma's gone on a night out with Son Goku, Naruto Uzumaki, Monkey D. Luffy and Ichigo Kurosaki. I don't know what they're doing, but I'll bet I'll have to end up paying for it, literally. As for Akatsuki, well, you know how he is...

Sara (sighing): I do. I DID make HIM, afterall. God...we'll never get this thing done at this rate....

Mousse: This always happens. You leave things at the last minute, and things get a little out of hand, and then WE have to pick up YOUR slack. It's your own fault.

Sara: Cyborg Ninja Squirrels(TM)! You know what to do!

(Mousse runs away as he chased by the Squirrels)

* * *

_And thus, the next part. I was little tired while writing this, and didn't have much...inspiration other than a couple of things I wanted to do here. Knowing this, I shall release this, and hereby apologise for any lack of quality inherent._

_And we now have the return of a somewhat popular spin-off of the fic.....the OMAKE! And behold, it's my most original one yet!_

_And Akatsuki is such a dick._

_Hope you enjoyed it, and please comment!_


	11. Repercussions of a Kiss extra

Akane's Magical Mishap

Part 11: Repercussions of a Kiss

The Tendos and the Saotome men sat at the dinner table, eating...well, dinner.

Akane's face twitched every five seconds. She just knew that someone, someway, was going to say something either very mortifying or embarrassing or annoying or aggravating or something that commented on her earlier day's exploits.

"So," Ranma said nonchalantly, "how soon's the wedding?"

Akane spat her miso soup, getting it all over her father. "W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-WHAT the HELL are you talking about, Ranma?"

"I heard you and Shampoo had gotten extremely close today."

"HEY! It's none of your business what Shampoo-chan and I were doing today! And how the HELL do you keep finding this stuff out?"

Ranma gazed at her, half-lidded. "Since when do you call her Shampoo-'chan'?"

Akane blushed, gulping as the other occupants of the table moved to interrogate her.

"WAAAAH! My daughter's fallen for another woman!"

"Now the school's will never be joined!"

"Akane, you shouldn't date other women, especially ones from foreign countries who have a tendency to destroy the house."

Nabiki smirked, yen signs in her eyes.

Ranma chuckled loudly, and Akane glared at him.

------------------

Shampoo cuddled the little stuffed animal in her arms. It looked like a little white fluffy...thing, like a cross between a teddy bear and a sheep. Normally she wouldn't be into this kind of thing, not really, but Akane had gotten it for her.

She blushed, smiling happily, thinking back on her beloved Pervert Girl.

After the kiss Akane acted so awkwardly, but the date went smoother as a consequence. Akane tried her best to please Shampoo, even going so far as to try and get a stuffed animal from a crane game. And she succeeded.

They almost went to a love hotel...but at the last minute decided not to. Akane had gotten over the kiss by that point and just wanted to go home to collect her thoughts.

Shampoo smiled to herself, happy. Maybe using that love potion as lip gloss was a good idea?

Of course, what she doesn't realise is the stuff doesn't actually work. Anything Akane did, she did under her own volition, in her right frame of mind. More or less.

* * *

Akatsuki Akuma had finally come home to Nerima, his vacation over.

Home. He had never thought of any place as home, not even the dimension he usually resided within. It was a nice feeling, to have a home to come back to.

Now to totally ruin the place.

He snapped his fingers, and a desert in the middle of nowhere was suddenly flooded by a huge tidal wave.

Also, a man gave birth to his wife's child, despite the fact that she was the one pregnant for nine months. From that moment on, he acted more motherly and feminine for some reason. Their son would eventually grow up and lead a relatively normal life as a medical doctor. His parents would become very proud of him and he would even get a Nobel Prize for curing incuritis. But THAT is another story.

-------------------

Akane tossed and turned in her bed, ruminating on the earlier day.

Shampoo had kissed her. It felt nice. So nice that she instantly saw herself for what she was, and she could finally face it.

She liked them. All of them. Shampoo, Ukyo, Ranma and even Kodachi.

She was a pervert. And she hated that. But at the same time, she was relieved.

She had finally come to terms with her sexuality, and now a new problem faced her: who should she choose?

Of course, it was likely she had fallen under a spell, knowing Shampoo. Still, it felt nice, this feeling in her heart.

Another dilemma was the conflict this caused in her mind. After all, she had not faced this fact about herself for a long time, and was not willing to face it even now, partially. But another part of her eagerly contested to embrace this aspect. And a third part of her wanted to be a clown for some reason. Don't even ask about the fourth, fifth and sixth parts of her mind.

The seventh part of her wondered why circles were round.

She growled in frustration, rubbing her head from all this confusion.

She decided to go to sleep and deal with it tomorrow.

* * *

"Shion!"

The Goddess of Order turned away from the pond, where she was playing with Kodachi's pet crocodile, Mr. Turtle. Kodachi was smiling excitedly and ran up to her, holding a flower pot with a single daisy growing in it. The former madwoman looked expectantly at the younger-looking girl.

"Did you grow this?" Shion asked.

Kodachi nodded, tears of joy streaming down her face.

Shion smiled happily and hugged her friend tightly, proud of her achievement.

Kodachi finally grew something beautiful.

* * *

Akane sat at her desk in class. There was a tapping on her back, and turned to see Ukyo.

"H-hey Ucchan." The tomboy greeted nervously.

"Don't you 'hey Ucchan' me." She replied icily. "I heard of what you did. You went out with Shampoo, didn't you? And don't you dare try and lie to me, I have proof!" She reached into her pocket and shoved the contents into Akane's face. They were photographs, showing the tomboy and Shampoo...kissing.

Akane sweated as all eyes turned to her. "Um...well ya see...her life was in danger, and I sorta saved her...and...she was grateful, so she...kissed me...I-it's not like I wanted her to or anything."

Ukyo growled, producing another photo. "If you didn't want her to, then why this?"

The photo showed Akane embracing Shampoo and kissing the Amazon passionately, with Akane obviously taking the lead.

Now everyone was staring at Akane, expecting some kind of answer. Akane backed away slowly, pale, not wanting to see their looks of disgust, scorn and, in the case of the boys, lust and arousal.

"I...I'LL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!!!" Akane suddenly blurted out.

Ukyo stood there, staring. "Wh-what?"

"I'll go out with you." Akane said calmly. "If that proves I don't love Shampoo, then I'll go out with you. But, nothing too fancy or formal, and in no way can you touch me inappropriately."

Uky held up the picture, her expression saying everything that needed to be said.

Akane sighed. "Okay...you can kiss me...."

Ukyo smiled and leapt onto her, grinning happily. "This is going to be so great."

Akane sighed, just wishing that things would go back to normal.

* * *

Meanwhile, as she walked the street, Kasumi bumped into someone. She turned around, ready to apologise, when she took a good look at his face.

It was the strange man who gave her that twister game. She bowed apologetically, blushing.

Akuma Akatsuki chuckled. "It's fine ma'am. No skin off my back. Now, be on your merry way, I think you ahve more important things to do than to waste time with a bum like myself."

With a quiet exclamation of "Oh my!" she ran off, taking her bag groceries and leaving Akatuski alone, who snickered quietly.

After all, he had slipped in a very special 'something' into her bag. She wouldn't even notice it.

He turned the opposite direction that Kasumi taken, and chuckled as he walked.

This is going to be so FUN.

* * *

OMAKE

Location: Blood Gulch, a box canyon in a small nondescript corner of the universe.

The red and blue teams have assembled, with their masks off for once, which revealed a startling surprise...

Sarge: What the sam hell is wrong with your face, private!?

Griff shook his, well, her head. It was actually Shampoo.

Griff/Shampoo: This is what I look like Sarge, and I'm not a private. I used a fake name to enter in the army. (She shrugged) Though I don't see why I should've bothered. It sure made no real difference to MY tour of duty.

Sarge (shaking in rage): OOOOOOH, I don't care what you have to say, private! It's obvious that you are a blue spy! An INEPT blue spy. But a SPY nonetheless. (Cocks his shotgun) Now drop and give me twenty, or I blow a hole in your skull!

Simmons: Actually sir, I have a secret to reveal too. (Takes off his helmet, and underneath he is actually Ukyo) I'm a girl too. I actually knew Griff back on Earth, when she called herself 'Shampoo'.

Shampoo (glaring): I thought there was a reason I didn't like you.

Donut: You should be ashamed of yourselves, keeping secrets from your team. (Turns to Sarge) We should throw them in the brig.

Ukyo: We don't actually have a brig sir. (Turns to Donut) and don't play innocent, Private Donut. Or should I say (rips off Donut's helmet) KONATSU!

Konatsu: You promised you wouldn't tell anyone Ukyo-sama!

Ukyo: Well, you shouldn't have tried to let us take the fall!

(The blues walk over)

Church (From distance): Hey Reds, what the hell is with all the yelling!? We're busy here and we can't work with all this noise!

Tucker: Actually, were not so much working as 'goofing off'. And we're not so much 'goofing off' as we are 'standing around doing nothing'. Now, when I say—

Church (to tucker): SHUT UP! (turns back to the Reds) God... The point is, we're minding our own business, not hurting or team-killing anyone (glances at Caboose) when all of a sudden we hear some dickhead yelling about Oh hey are those girls? Wait a second...they seem AWFULLY familiar...

Tucker: Konatsu? Ukyo? SHAMPOO!?

Caboose: Hello pretty ladies! Have you seen the reds around here? They wear bright red suits like the one that red guy with is wearing...OH! Except one wears pink, like that girl you're with –

Konatsu: LIGHTISH RED!

Caboose: And one wears yellow, like that purple haired girl over there....AND ONE HAS A DARKER RED BUT ITS STILL RED LIKE THAT GIRL MAN WITH THE ONG HAIR! (to Church and Tucker) Do you think they shop at the same place as those guys?

Church: You know...just when you couldn't get any dumber...you just did. Those people are obviously the reds but without their helmets.

Tucker: But, how could they? I mean, they sound like dudes—

Church: Voice synthesisers, like when Tex first came here and used it to sound all tough and manly, in an effort to hide her feminine insecurities. Hey, where is she anyway?

Tex: Behind you, dumbass.

Church: Son of a bitch.

(Tex punches him across the head, and his helmet comes off, revealing...KASUMI!?)

Church/Kasumi: That really hurt you bitch!

Tex: That's what you get.

Tucker: Yeah you jsut got owned, Tex Style! Bow chicka bow wow!

Kasumi: That doesn't even make any sense. I'd expect that sort of thing from Caboose, but not you, Tucker.

Caboose: Church! Where did you go!? (To Kasumi) Nice lady, have you seen Church, who's my bestest friend in the whole wide world!?

Kasumi: Caboose, it's me. Church.

Caboose: Where is Church!? (Shakes Kasumi) WHERE IS HE!?!?

Kasumi (pushes Caboose away): Get off me! (Sighs, turning to the reds) Well, didn't imagine I'd see you here.

Shampoo: Is anyone here NOT from Nerima?

Sarge: I don't know what backwards, body snatching, sex-altering palnet you freaks come from, but I come from the great Red, White and Blue! The good ole' U.S of A!

Kasumi: Yeah, nobody cares. So, is anyone ELSE someone we know form Nerima.

(Caboose holds up his hand)

Church (without looking at Caboose): NOT YOU CABOOSE!

(Caboose puts his arm down)

(Tucker takes off his helmet, revealing Happosai's face)

Kasumi (confused): Wha...? But how...? But you're so... and we're.... You know what? Forget it. I don't care. Not my problem. I'm jsut gonna forget about it, even though it defies all logic.

Shampoo: That's been my motto.

Kasumi: SHUT UP! NO-ONE WAS TALKING TO YOU! Geez, no wonder your sister is so messed up...Where is Sister anyway?

Happosai: She went to the sweet rave party with Lopez.

Shampoo: A rave party! Sweet!

Kasumi: WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY GONNA HAVE A RAVE PARTY!? WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERTED BOX CANYON! WE'RE THE ONLY ONES HERE!!!

(Tex punches Kasumi, and takes off her helmet, revealing Ranma's face)

Tex: Just shut up! God! No wonder I hate all of you! Well, this has been really rewarding and enlightening. Now just SHUT THE HELL UP OR ELSE I'LL BEAT YOU ALL TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN SKULLS!

Kasumi: She'll totally do that too.

Ukyo: Actually, that's be pretty cool to see.

Shampoo: Hell yeah! Way better than some stupid rave party!

Caboose: A party? Is there gonna be cake and balloons?

Konatsu: Um, guys, I don't think Sarge is doing too well.

(Sarge is lying on the ground, unconscious from pure brain explody)

MEANWHILE....

(Sister and Lopez are having a sweet rave party, attended by Wyoming, Andy, Sheila and Doc/O'Malley. How this makes sense is beyond this author's knowledge. Wyoming and O'Malley's helmets are off, revealing they are in fact Nabiki and Doctor Tofu respectively.)

Nabiki: I could pick them off from here. (looking at the reds and blues through sniper rifle)

O'Malley: No! We can't just kill them like that! It's not EVIL enough! We must get in close to them and turn the robot into an all powerful weapon of mass destruction, and gloat in their faces as we destroy them like the fools they are. MWAHAHAHAHA!

Tofu: But that's not very nice.

O'Malley: Of course not! We're evil! We're not supposed to be 'Nice'!

(Meanwhile, The Meta took off his helmet, revealing himself to be, of course, Akane. And now she's gone and killed our cameraman)

* * *

Zeus woke up groggily, smelling of puke and beer, rubbing his head. That was the last time he drank and watched nothing but internet comedy shows and listening to Akatsuki's tales.

He looked around at the room, and paled. He saw the hotel manager standing above him, looking upset, and he kenw what he ahd to do.

"WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP!" And with that, he ran. And got captured by security. And was put in jail.

* * *

_Sorry about that. The Omake turned out longer than anticipated, and ended up becoming longer than the main fic. I hope I fixed that situation though. :D_

_The omake serves as a prototype of two Red vs Blue ideas. 1) All the characters are actually female, but are using their helmets to hide this fact. 2) Ranma characters replacing the main cast of red vs blue, but keeping their character traits. I tried to go with either who would be funniest and most ill suited for the role, and who would be the most fitting. Admittedly, Genma would've suited Griff more (I'm not sure whether he was a private or not, but he got promoted and demoted in Reconstruction, so I decided to make reference to that anyway, cause its funny.)_

_I hope to make these ideas into actual fanfics. Or, someone else can do it for me, save me the trouble. Plus, I'm not sure I made the right casting choices and kept the characters in character._

_I chose Konatsu to eb Donut for obvious reasons; Happosai seemed to fit Tucker beautifully, though I was gonna choose either Ryoga or Akane; Shampoo and Ukyo for their respective roles cause I had no better ideas; Kasumi got to be Church because I thought it'd be funny, though again Akane seemed like a good choice too; Ranma became Tex because, again, I thought it suited him/her and I also thought it'd be funny, but once again, Akane also seemed like a good fit; Tofu became Doc cause they're both doctors duh; Washington was played by Nabiki because I thought she suited his personality better, and yes, Akane was considered for both parts as well. Finally, I made Akane the Meta cause I thought it suited and was funny._

_I apologise for the crapness of this chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it and look forward to more chapters._

_And please, for the love of God, comment!_


End file.
